Sister Time

One Minute, Each Time

(4/4/2010 4:41 AM Original date)
I am sorry, because things are the way they are, and the way things work out. Come out? I am sorry, that I don't see your face in the morning, and I am sorry, that time is priceless, I am so sorry.

Whether sorry or not, here I am, covered in shit, and little by little, I am falling, as I am falling, I am sorry. I am sorry that things work out the way they do.

I am sorry.

Sorry I couldn't give you what you deserved. Whether my ear, my hands, or simply, my body besides yours.
I am sorry, that the answer to your million questions about me, simply, went, "I'm sorry, It's time to move"

And I am sorry I didn't have time to explain, why this had to be

I'm sorry I couldn't promise you tomorrow, because today, is not yet over

I am sorry,

To the friend, who carried my future,



I am sorry,



But they tell me to walk,
That tomorrow will bring
happiness, or maybe a bit more stability.
This is killing me and I'm not sure how you'd react,

But I am on knees, scraped laying down here.

I am sorry for the millions of things that, together we started. I ams sorry for the unfinished stories, for the drawings that were never painted. For this I am sorry, friend of mines.

My Love, My Sweetheart, This I am living without you, and for that too I am sorry. I want to be part of, what will become of me. And I, could never, determine tomorrow.

I will not promise a tomorrow, I will not promise, the same touches. But I will stand, I will stand, and I will try my best, to stay civilized.

I know in Heaven, you'll find Peace

I want to learn how to accept that I will never see your face again, at least not for a long while, and it hurts to think about it. Hector, you touched my life more than you could imagine, and in my head, I've just been hearing you calling my name as soon as you see me, no matter what mood you were in when I came in, "Wendesiiiitaaaaa." I will miss you forever, and ever, and always sexy boy. I remember our little Zara game on Newbury st. Walking down the street and pointing out Zara clothing, then arguing over some, I swore I saw the same ones at H&M and you let it slide because you knew you would win anyway, you have a better eye for these things than I do. I remember all the compliments you gave me on what I was wearing, and all the critizism on the messy stuff that I wore, on those days I didnt look into the mirror before walking out the house. I miss you Hector. I miss your laugh, your smile, your voice. Most of all, I miss the way you would slap my ass, and pinch me. Although both hurt, the slap in the ass was hella sexy I must admit. "You're lucky I love you" Damn right, I am lucky. and I'm lucky I got to meet you, and I'm lucky you learned to like me, and that I learned to like you because I know alot of people didnt. Fuck all the Newbury st customers. FUCK THEM! Newbury st, never again. If it wasnt for Mel and a couple of others, I would say fuck Zara, but my lips are sealed for now. I would've married you, if you liked my stuff....damn! I should've got a surgery :-) Hahaha that made me laugh, and I'm sure it made you laugh! You're running across my mind right now, like right this second, Hey at least I know you're getting fit. Enjoy Heaven till I get there and kick your ass. I love you Hector Antonio Medina Mejia (June 14th, 1983-June 12th, 2010) sexxyboyy <3

Left Unspoken

Your lips, have touched mines before.


And that's what I now, do not understand.



I imagine now, your lips, on mines,

And it's as if I was drowning, in a sea of you,

Your smell, lingering around me, your breath,

in my ear, as if you were really here.



Not here.



You're gone.



Your hands, once, held mines.

And I do not know who I used to be.



To think that smiles were smiles, and not a cover-up.

It has become easy to hide behind these,

I am weak behind close doors,

but wiping away, and smiling,

has become a routine.



Maybe tears, no matter how many,

won't make this easier,

But its the only way to cope.

Not because it hurt to lose you,

but hurt more losing myself.



And when you think I'm fine,

and that you're not on mind,

It's probably when you're on it the most



My life has become a puzzle

and (I'm getting used to it) somehow accostumed

When I am awake, I am dreaming,

And When I am dreaming I am awake

It's the only way for me to be, where I wanna be.



You could say one would get sick,

of living in memories,

of living yesterday, today.



But I don't.



I don't get tired of you, of I, of us.

Call me a fool, but for love, I do it all.

Because if I learned anything in my life,

I learned about Love.



Love, our friend, our worst enemy.



I laughed to myself when you tried to guide me,

telling me to stop following the human rules,

and to do whatever it is that made me happy.



If it were up to me, I would fall into your arms,

and never, ever let go.

Just look into your eyes,

simply, even if from a distance

look into your eyes



And I wish you would tell me you don't feel what I FEEL,

I wish you would tell me you dont LOVE ME,

I wish you would tell me that this is not MUTUAL,

Tell me that you're not crazy, going insane about ME,

Please, Baby, I am Begging you to tell me

That I'm the only one,

Dying with these sleepless nights,

Sleeping on damp pillows,

Not knowing when its raining outside,



The day, that you tell me this,

I will understand.



Thing is I know I'm kidding myself Baby,

Because if I learned anything in my life,

I learned about Love.

If I believe about anything in my life Baby,

It is about you and I.



So I'm here, sitting on the corner,

with wet eyes,

Like a child waiting for her mother.

My bags packed, my heart wide open

Awaiting your arrival.



And one day, I know,

We'll pull through together.

Leave this mess.

Never look back.

And together.

You and I.

Will run Away.

From this.

Together.

You and I.

Forever.

I Promise.

My 3 mothers

Mother's day is coming to an end, and I have been asked a million times about my mother.




My maternal mother lives in the Dominican Republic, I didnt grow up with her but I am in touch with her. We definately had our ups and downs but I love her, and appreciate her for bringing me into this World. As a child I never really thought about not having her around, and didn't really feel anything towards it because I had my grandmother to watch over me but as I got older feelings started piling up, and I was very confused about how I felt towards her, and whether I really did love her or not. One day I built the courage to ask her questions that were always on my mind, and though it was hard for her she answered. Since that day our relationship changed completely and I realized that whether she was with me or not, she will always be my mother, and I am lucky that she is here. I love her, and will always always appreciate her.





My second mother is my grandmother, who raised me for 9 years of my life, and took so much shit from me and my older brother, but she never gave up. I repeat, she never gave up. I have a million stories that I could tell about this lady, but she is, hands down, my favorite woman. I love her with every loving molecule in my body. Okay, I wasn't going to include this but I have to. When I lived in DR with her and my brother she gave us $$ for lunch at school. One time I thought I would take the $$ every day, but not buy lunch, so I could save it to buy something else. One day, after school, she came to pick us up and as we were walking up the stairs to the house, I dropped my book bag, and my week long's savings rolled down the stairs, my grandmother started to yell at me about where I got that $$. I told her it was mines, and that I had saved it....she never believed me, I lost my $$, and didn't eat lunch for a week. Another time, my uncles went to DR, from Boston. I was about 8 or 9, they gave both me and my brother $100, now a hundred $$ in DR is , alot, alot of $$, specially for 8 and 9 year olds. So I was super excited, I went to the store, bought candy (with dollars, because I didnt really know about the huge difference in currency) So I lost alot of $$ without knowing it. At the end of the day I took a can of soda, my favorite soda back in the day, and I rolled up my $$, my own little soda bank. Next morning I woke up, and my grandmother was in my room, doing the daily cleaning. I went to my dresser to get the can with my beautiful $$, and it wasnt there. I asked my brother, I asked this lady who worked at my house, where is my can. I went crazy, I went to my grandmother and told her the story. Turns out, she didnt know there was $$ in it, and she didnt want roaches in my room, so she threw it away, along with all my $$. LOL, I could keep on going with my stories of misery, but, no wait one more. Dont judge me, and please dont get scared, but I will never, ever forget this. One day my older brother upset me, no, pissed me off. We had a blackout (which is totally normal, every single day in DR), well I was really pissed at him, and could not figure out a way to get back at him. So seeing fire around the house gave me an idea. I took a fork from the kitchen, and put it on top of one of the candles until the end of the fork was really, really, really hot, and I stabbed my brother in the back of the neck with it. He had 4 permanent holes on the back of his neck for a long, long time. I think they have now faded away, but my grandmother was not, at all happy. =) Anyways, back to my grandmother, asides me my father, she is my favorite. She is an angel, and I am so blessed to be a part of her life, I could not ask for anyone better, and I could not imagine anyone doing a better job than the job she did. After raising her own 5 children, she then raised 2 of her son's devils. I love her more than these simple words could explain. There was never a day that I went to school with my hair undone, or my clothes dirty, or wrinkly. She ironed all our uniforms, every single day. Cooked for us, 3 times a day, every day of the week. Took us out to eat pizza on saturdays, and took us on 3 day weekends to our great grandmother's place in el Campo. She is amazing, and she is the true definition of a mother, by far. She will never read this, and I doubt she wants to learn this language so noone will be reading it to her, but you know what they say actions speak louder than words. And I know for a fact, that I dont say these things to her, but Its all there <3

My 3rd mother is my step mom who I met around december 1999. When I first met her I fell in love. She was sweet, and always knew what I wanted. She supported me in the things I did and always knew what to say. As I started getting older, I kind of lost track and saw things from a different perspective. In many occasions I said I didn't like her, and that I didnt want her in my life, this is not easy to write, specially since she actually does have FB, and could read it if she happens to snoop around here, but I have always been better at writing than speaking so maybe she's meant to read this. Anyway, we had great times. I used to write her letters with the first words I learned in English, which were "I love you." She helped me, get along with my younger sister, Kendy. Kendy and I didnt grow up together, and I barely saw her, if I did, I didnt stop and have a conversation with her, just sort of waved and said hello, I dont remember exactly how it was, but we didnt have a relationship. Anyway, my step mom helped us, and molded us, and now I love kendy more than I could've imagined. Kendy is my best friend, and knows me better than anyone else in this whole entire world, If I ever had to thank my step mother for one thing she did, I thank her for helping me, and opening my eyes to what it means to have a sister because I dont know what my life would've been if Kendy hadn't been with me. Back to the main story, My step mom was awesome to me when I was a younger, she baked cakes with us, bought us presents, toys, we did BBQ, went out on adventures, and saved us from many whoopins... lol. She was sweet, and just so cool with us. One day I guess I woke up and wanted to be a rival. I stopped talking to her completely, I stayed outside of the house for as many hours as I could so I didnt have to be there with her, I dont wanna go into too much detail because this is FB, but I was a rival. I started as a nice young girl, then turned into this mean little thing. I made her go through hell, treated her like crap. And she didn't deserve it. She never did, will never deserve that. She changed her life, to come and take care of my father, and his 3 kids. I couldn't ever imagine what woman, in her right mind, with a future ahead of her, and an education would do such a crazy thing. But she did it. She is a super woman, and she stood besides us no matter what crazy shit we did. I have never thanked you for all that you have done, and maybe I will build up the balls to thank you in person one day. But I am sending you both an apology, and a thank you that I know would never be enough. You wiped so many of my tears through the years, and you guided me when I had no answer. You are amazing, even though you really did get on my nerves sometimes, before I turned rival. I hope you can forgive me, forgive us for the hell that I know we put you through. Thank you for always being there for me, for all of us. For your thoughtfulness, and every single, tiny thing you ever did for us. I still remember the first gift you ever gave me. It was a diary. I was in DR and my favorite novela at the time was, "El Diario De Daniela" and I so badly wanted a diary, with a lock and a key. Next day, you gave me a diary and I fell in love with you. I miss you, and I love you

How to Train Your Dragon

The movie was amazing, the characters were amazing, the script was amazing, the plot was amazing, the beginning, the climax, and the end were amazing. I am adding this movie to the top of my list, right besides "Up." Hiccup and Toothless have won my heart =)

We Learn to Love Ourselves

Men just do not understand.
We learn to love ourselves.
We learn to love ourselves
Because it hurts to find someone who does.

We learn to love ourselves.
We learn to look in the mirror
And tell ourselves just how sexy we look.
Just how thick our thighs are getting
How much rounder our breasts are from yesterday
How good our legs look in those jeans

We love ourselves so hard

We learn to touch ourselves

Because man just do not understand

All we ever want or need is to be happy.
For them to perform the ritual
And take us away for a while.
Away from the million conflicts.

The chaos in the world.



Men will never understand.

We are tired of temporary happiness
We are tired of relying on those nice words
Those simple words that get us through the day
Hey, you look beautiful today
Maybe a kiss? Maybe two?


And no; this isn’t a poem of a broken-hearted

Or maybe I’m in denial

But I know it is essential for a Women to love herself
Before she can love anyone else.