My Inner Thoughts

I wanna be fancy, no, not too fancy
Just enough to be noticed.
I want a million friends
scratch, rewind, erase that
I want friends, true, loyal,
and unkindhearted friends.
I wanna sing, dance, jump, skip,
but not be overpowered by influence.
I wanna be loved, oh yes, so loved,
loved biq, loved small,
in bunches, in tinys,
liked, adored, querida,
and the whole package!
I wanna laugh at those
that wanna be me,
because they can copy and trace
but never take my place.
I wanna sit outside at night
and watch the twinkling stars
as they make their way across the sky.
I wanna cry during the happy moments
and smile during the sad.
I wanna real strong,
strong enough to hold the world
and all it's passengers.
I wanna swim from one ocean to another,
taste the difference between them.
I wanna write poems that
move people's lives,
to remember me and my lines.
I wanna share an intimacy with a golden boy
one with nice eyes, pretty smile,
and an attitude that's wild.
I want a little piece of Heaven,
just to hold it in my hand.
I wanna meet time,
see where she goes while we dream.
I wanna climb the highest mountain,
and pick out the bad seeds of the Earth.
I wanna be like Santa Claus,
a reason for all kids to be happy.
I wanna play a game of basketball
with the legend Michael Jordan,
ask him how it feels to swish all his baskets.
I wanna talk to God,
see if he ever dreams of a wife,
sorry, didnt mean to be nosy,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna
I just wanna write a song,
I just wanna write a story,
I just wanna write a poem,
that will change somebody's life.

Everlasting Rollercoaster Ride

Yeah, he makes me happy
no, I'm sorry
he makes me really happy,
like when he came around,
my face would light up,
my hands would start shaking,
my heart would skip a beat,
whatever that means.

Anyhow,
we would spend countless hours together
playing basketball
buying things,
watchinq movies,
making a scene,
it was just . . . amazing.
Until one day,
we realized our differences,
we took a look at our flaws,
from that day on,
our relationship changed completely.
we fought, argued,
yelled, threw thinqs,
I thought it was definately
the end of something good
but I tell you,
Boy kept pushing and pushing
till my back was against a wall,
and at that moment
our relationship changed once aqain.
I started seeing things from his perspective,
i began to understand his physical language,
and man Oh man
did I beqin to love him.
Now this time when he came around,
I fought back my tears,
I wanted him to go away,
I didnt want him to leave,
I wanted him to shut up
and just hold me
but NO, it wasnt really about me,
well I mean, I guess it wasnt about me.
ugh he talked when i wanted silence,
touched me when I just wanted to be alone,
I kinda imagined I had made the biggest mistake of my life.
Guess what happened then?
yeah, my feelings changed once aqain,
as if God had tightened up some screws,
as if the Opthomologist had added strenqgh to my glasses,
as if a faceless force had enliqhtened me
I felt guilt, I felt regret,
and I felt stupid.
Month after month
we tried to make it work,
excuse me, HE tried to make it work,
puttinq his all into it,
And me?
Oh please, I had better things to worry about,
really couldn't have cared less,
he was younger than me anyway.
And so came the tears aqain,
but these werent quite so spontaneous,
this weren't sad or mad tears,
these were tears that made me realize
that honestly. . .how could i live without this guy?
Yeah when I say he gave me everything,
I'm not frontin',
he gave me tears, he gave me pain
he gave me motivation, he gave me smiles
he gave me anger, he gave me strife

So thats our story,
the one I hate the most,
but yet. . . the one I love the most,
because even though we fuss and fight
we're taking our never ending rollercoaster ride.