Late Nights

Wednesday, December 2, 2009 at 2:25am (Original date)


I couldn't catch on to the irregularity of things. That as my heart was being torn, my pencil was running out of led. As you walked away, so did my sharpener. I couldn't decipher whether that meant to fight, or to just give up, whether to stand up or hang low at this disgrace. All I knew, was that I wanted you. All I know is that I want you. I want you, I want you, and I just simply want you. Do not shake your head at me, because maybe you're disappointed, that although I promised not to make you go through this again, here I am forcing you allow me to express my ways. you've held me back for too long, and I'm starting to believe this is bad for my health.

My hands are shaking.

They never really knew went to stop.

You held me against my own will, but. Something told me to fight, something has scared you off. Don't shake your head at me. You took everything from me, every word I used for expression, every rhyme for your admiration. I am fighting myself, as I fight you.and God only knows I am tired of fighting. I am tired of holding back the things I need to say, I am tired of stepping on stones because you're afraid of falling, because you're scared you'll drown. I dont want you to hold my hand anymore, JUST SET ME FREE! Let me live. Please just let me guide my way. I will not promise you anything. I wont promise you that things won't fall apart again, but I would rather try than to watch it all pass by.

Its some type of transition.

I NEVER WANT TO STOP.

I dont want to stop. I never wanted to. You are my addiction. My problems, my conflictions. And God forbid I FALL. But if I FALL PLEASE let me drown. Let me drown in every inch of you, let me drown in your thoughts, your dreams, let me drown in your soul. Or simply, in your lips.

I am going for a ride.

Next stop, coming up.

Your lips, Oh the sweet taste of your lips. Blessed are your lips. And the secrets they hold. I DONT WANT TO KNOW. I dont want to choose the way, I dont want right, I dont want left, I just want to ride. Just take me, Do you not understand me? I SCREAM. I am yelling for you, inside, There is a STORM. Its a tsunami. Let me write you down my name, sing you a song, of butterflies, and flowers, and trees, YOUR LIPS. (sigh) who am I fooling! I am a fool. living a foolish life. foolish rules. that for one reason or another, disable me, from telling you.

the things.

on my mind.

When I close my eyes. You're sitting here. Listening, intently. as I tell you that this is real. That I feel the surreal, but it is real. that this is real. that us is real. when I close my eyes, alot of things change. you're here....with me. and hold, just hold me. then I open them, and she's sitting there with me. My friend, reality.